Sigh.

I was just reading my sister-in-law's post about accepting a job she applied for four years ago. I feel like beginning my job as a nurse is similar in that I "applied" for this job when I began nursing school ...about four years ago! I brought home my first paycheck yesterday. I have to say that I found it pretty nice. It's like a chocolate chip cookie after you've been eating stale Rice Krispie treats your whole life: a pleasant change, and I never want to go back.

It was a crazy day today. I felt like I was unable to finish what I had started throughout the entire day. It was as if there was something "undone" in each and every one of my patients' rooms. I know that nursing is like that; you can't always deal with one patient at a time and then move on to the next. You are often in the middle of something with one patient when you are called to something more pressing in another room, and I'd say half the time you forget what you were in the middle of once you fix the "something more pressing."

I hate the idea that each of my days will be like this.

It's so weird to be not a student anymore. I am pretty much on my own with the constant assurance that my preceptor is quite nearby if I have any problems or questions. She's a bit different from me, though, and I struggle to learn in the way that she's teaching. I have concluded that I learn best with an incredible amount of structure; what I really want out of my preceptorship is for someone to say to me, "These are all the things you need to do everyday. You should do them this way." My preceptor lives in a world of "Yeah, there's a lot to get done - it doesn't really matter how you do it or in what order, just so long as at the end of the shift you're okay."

AHHHHH! Someone please make me a to-do list!