Things are not going well. I repeat: not going well. I have a stash of leaky, repellent diapers, a stack of urine-soaked baby clothing, a husband who doesn't really support the whole idea anyway ("All the guys at work think cloth diapers are gross." Huh?), and a bad attitude to add to the whole deal. I am tired, tired, tired of changing entire outfits with each diaper change, I am sick of troubleshooting (extra hot wash? extra cold rinse? less detergent? different detergent? bleach? no bleach? strip them again? chemically strip them this time? change baby more frequently? buy more diapers?), I am weary of keeping on with the keeping on, and I am ready to hang it up.
Gasp.
Did I just say that?
It kills me, literally kills me to type this: I. am. giving. up.
It irks me to no end that I haven't been able to make it work. I am frustrated beyond belief. I hear myself saying, "Yeah, I tried cloth diapering and it didn't work for me," and I roll my eyes. At myself. I don't want to give up. I'm annoyed by it all and angry at the same time. I gave it the old college try, yes, but those of you who know me know that I don't just give things a try. I pretend I'm giving things a try, with all intentions of actually being successful. It's a flaw, I know. I can't really dabble. I have to complete. It's part of why I returned to college less than one year after I graduated. (That is certainly a topic for another post.)
But I'm done.
I emailed all my gurus, I contacted the diaper store, I searched online... I'm done. I have come to the conclusion that my issue is our water, rather than detergent. I believe it's the water because stripping the diapers hasn't made any difference - and because I believe the issue is our water (we have a great deal of sediment), I realize that I have no control over it. We already have a whole-house water filter. There is nothing more I can do.
Sigh.
You know, I might just soldier on if it were not for one thing: the peace that I have enjoyed since hanging it up. Josh and I went out and bought a few packs of different brands of disposables, and I have enjoyed putting them on my son. I have enjoyed the dry outfits. I have enjoyed Josh's assistance in the diaper department (he didn't change the cloth ones much). I have enjoyed the shrinkage of Matty's little rear end; clothes that were in the "don't fit anymore" pile are actually back in the drawer. I actually recognize that I was kind of resentful about the whole leaking diaper thing, and I felt like I HAD to make it work, or not complain about what a pain in the you-know-what it was, because I didn't want to hear I told you so! from anyone. I comfort myself with the knowledge that I saved our landfills from the months of diapering that create the most waste anyway - those first few months - and I believe we came close to breaking even on the cost of the cloth diapers. I'm hoping to sell them on Craigslist for about half of what I paid, and just cut my losses for the rest.
And that, my dear readers, was my last cloth diaper post. Ever.
Sniff.
10 comments:
Ugh...I'm sorry it didn't work. Truly, I am. I give you props for even trying!!
oh Beth...that so sucks. I think I would totally give up if I had those issues as well...REALLY. To be honest with you, I have only stripped my diapers once or twice in 5 years and never had to change detergent because they leak. I am probably the most "non compliant" diaper washer in the world...I just toss them in and am done with it. Soooo sorry but less stress is better for your family..really. What are you selling them for? I may have some interested buyers ;o)
Kudos for knowing when to stop. I remember the first time I stopped reading a book because it didn't interest me. I felt guilty. Now I give myself permission to quit reading if it doesn't keep me interested.
You tried it; it didn't work for you. Time to move on.
See and this is exactly why I don't want to even start.
1. Because start up costs are so expensive
2. I already have the sneaking suspicion that we might hate it.
I applaud you for trying and sticking with it for as long as you did and for being honest enough to say you hated it
Don't beat yourself up! I like what zoela said! (She's smart enough to be my aunt, I think! :) )
I can only imagine what you have been feeling. I have been frustrated beyond belief about disposables because I have been tired of changing A's crib sheet every morning because of a leaky diaper at night. I absolutely hate changing crib sheets, it irks me for some reason. Anyway, so I have been so annoyed at buying and trying so many packs of diapers to find one that works at night. They don't make overnights for under size 4, and we are trying 3's right now because 2s just don't work anymore...
Good for you for knowing when to stop. you have enough to deal with having two little ones and a husband who works long shifts.
Love ya!
Sorry it didn't work out for you! I hope you can get some money back out of them.
What a bummer. All that work. I'm sorry Beth. I considered cloth diapers while I was pregnant for a little while...I mean, for the baby I was going to have. :) I realized, "for me," getting used to the care of my first newborn 24/7 was enough to worry about. After 9 newborn poopy diapers a day, it sealed the deal. I decided "I" didn't need to try to be a supermom. I still keep cloth diapering in the back of my mind though. Now that our routine is...well, an actual routine these days, I may give it a try in the not-so-distant future. Thanks for your honesty!
Oh wait, and I wasn't implying you were trying to be a supermom...I was just meaning in MY decision making, I wanted to do things "just the right way," etc. I think you do a great job. Ok, I think I'm done now.
Sorry it didn't work out! Ugh. Nothing you can do when it's the water. Enjoy the disposables, teach your sons to be good stewards of the earth, and in the end it's all... wait for it... a wash.
;)
hey friend! sorry i never got back to you on this e-mail re: diaper gurus. i was mid-moving, but it sounds like you got lots of 2 cents. & i agree with the peace of mind = okay decision :)
i also need to echo the "wait ... what do you want for them" comment before you put 'em on craig's list. especially if you have the brighter color ones!
(is it too soon to ask?)
also, my word verification below is "anchump" - that it was funny!
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