Pain can be funny

So, no ranting lately. Honestly, I don't have much to complain about! In fact, I got the ultimate compliment last week, the coveted "I think you will make a great nurse!" And it came from the new meanest instructor ever. So, here's a little story instead (and it's not even about poop!):

The patient for whom I was caring on this particular day was a little ...rough around the edges. Staff were kind of flustered by him, and no one envied me my job dealing with him. Of course, I didn't learn that until after I'd spent about six hours at his bedside. And I really did spend almost all of that time at his bedside! One of the joys of being a nursing student is the paperwork you get to do at the end of the day. Sixteen pages of information, irrelevant question after irrelevant question... it can be a little bit overwhelming. Embarrassing, even. So, to make a long story short, I had been asking this guy a bunch of questions which probably seemed totally inappropriate (Do you have any sexual concerns related to your illness? Do you do a testicular self-exam?), and he was more than likely a little bit bored with my attention. I told him I was going to leave him alone for awhile, so after I took his vital signs I left the room.

Only to walk right back in:

"I forgot to ask you - are you having any pain right now?"
"Pain?"
"Yeah, does anything hurt, do you have any pain?"
"Yeah, I've got some pain."
"You do? Where?"
"In my ASS!"

Heh, heh. Nice.

"Right, that would be me. Any other pain?"

Geez, Louise. I ought to write my pop a thank you note for passing down his sense of humor. When I told my clinical instructor what he had said, her jaw about hit the floor. And when I told her how I responded, she was surprised at my quick wit. (By the way, never be surprised at someone's quick wit. It makes your wit seem painfully slow.) So, thanks Dad, for your twisted sense of humor (although I have to admit, it was the cause of extreme mortification on more than one occasion). It has served me well.