What was the point of burning the bra, anyway?

I recently read a post that condemned women for giving up successful careers in order to get married or have a family. The author and commentators cited several situations where women found themselves graduates of law or medical school, only to put their hard work on the back burner to in essence deny themselves of all they'd worked so hard to achieve (by getting married and having kids). I can't say that this is a ludicrous point of view, but I do disagree. Here we go:

I guess the crux of this issue for me is that women should be presented with the choice; we should be allowed to decide if we want to be independently successful or if we want to totally dedicate our lives to raising a family, without being judged as less successful for either choice. The problem is that our society and our bodies seem to say that one choice is exclusive of the other: you choose a career, and by the time you've "made it" you are no longer fertile. Or, on the other side of the coin, you decide to have a family first and your career and dreams are put on hold... and it seems like a lot of women who decide to go the family route first never end up pursuing their dreams. Personally, I don't think this is copping out or giving up; I think this is an example of the beautiful denial of self that can only be experienced by a parent who would give up anything to give their child a better life.

I believe it is truly an honor to bring a child into this world, and I am extremely blessed to be married to my husband. I don't feel that I lost the opportunity for a different life by choosing to marry, and those of you who know me well know how my life changed significantly when I moved to my husband's home state. Interestingly enough, at one time I counted myself among the more independent of my gender and said with defiance that I didn't want to marry. I said I didn't need a man to mow my lawn or keep me company. For me, it has been evolution to come to the point where although I don't NEED my husband to feel like a woman or a successful person, I have learned that my independence isn't worth nearly what I thought it was, and that in giving up some of my defiance I have gained deeper love. I look forward to the day when I am lucky enough to create another life whose very existence represents the love my husband and I share. I still intend to have a career, and I am actively pursuing a job in a field which I feel will always provide great opportunities for me. But I make no bones about the fact that my family will come first, no matter what. When we have children, I hope to continue working only on a very part-time basis.

I grow weary of the battle between the working women and the stay-at-home moms. It seems that neither side values the other. Those women who have a closet full of business suits look down their noses at the women who "gave up" what they could have had to play servant-lady to a man and his spawn. Moms who are at home are short-tempered with the mindset that money and power are worth more than your own flesh and blood. While I can understand the idea that a woman doesn't inherently need a man to be whole, I clearly reveal my bias: the latter group is thinking much more selflessly and is making the type of long-term choice that will better our lives instead of prosper them.

Many moms who are lucky enough to stay home say just that: they feel lucky to be able to stay home. Lots of moms who work part-time wish they could be home with their children all the time. Working women often feel torn between their careers and their children, and I think our society is showing that the wrong choice is often made. It's not that women aren't competent or that we don't deserve to be in the workplace, it's that someone belongs at home to raise the children and to create a wonderful tomorrow by shaping and guiding the next generation.

...That can be Mom or Dad, or both. But I, for one, would count it a fulfilling, enlightening, and challenging privilege, rather than a punishing sentence to momhood, to stay home and teach my child how to live a God-fearing life in our society.